Now

You never call me yours and I can't call you mine

 the words I love you roll from our lips time after time

Yet we both sleep alone wondering why things fall apart 

and our eyes can't stay dry 

expectations without words causing pain and hurt

Redefining life every time we're kicked into the dirt 

the damage has been done by so many before 

 how do we heal 

 we can love each other more 

you shove me away so I don't break you

 in the process shattering me leaving me to beg you 

please love me where I'm at with all the scars and baggage don't go on the attack 

but let me love you with your demons with your fears and all the commitment your heart lacks

Hold me all night through let me help you relax

forgetting our mistakes so that someday we can laugh 

at the silly circles we weave just end up right back

Loving one another no looking back   

https://youtu.be/dyl3HS1xHlo

Forget

https://youtu.be/z8UuSCSm3r0

Wash my lipstick from your mirror 

wash your sheets so you smell me no more 

pretend like I have hurt you like all the others have before 

forget the way I kiss your lips and how you hold the door 

Remember not the nights of peace shared behind your bedroom door

Forget how much I loved you or how hard I tried 

forget the fact that you forgot me 

and how many times you lied

 Forget the way I held you as I cried massive tears 

forget the way you were my safe place for OH so many years 

Forget the many transgressions I silently forgave 

hold onto all your bitterness for that is what you crave

Some day may you find 

my lipstick amongst the cracks in the couch 

or smell the smell of lilacs and hear my name come out

Someday may you remember what it's like to love without reason and what you left behind

Someday maybe you will call me and remember I won't mind

How dare you

how dare you take my beautiful heart and smash it between your cold wicked hands and leave it as rubble for me to mend.

how dare you not listen to my tears as I begged for you to keep your words and you burned them with your fire breath.

how dare you love me deeply until it was no longer convenient. that my dear, is not love at all!

how dare you cage this rare bird by expecting to force your morality down my burning throat, it burns from screaming I will love you just the way you are.

how dare you not care for me in the simplest of ways. willing to protect my honor or safety out of pure selfish laziness.

bless you for your tender hands and dilated eyes; ones that view my dainty heart as a prize.

bless you for finding beauty in the scars, and the beauty in my wildness.

bless you for loving a mosaic heart, and binding it with yours.

bless you for not running when I made things hard.

beloveds, that is love; the journey, the willingness to be vulnerable and raw and forgiving.

beloveds we are all flawed, scarred, scared, and damaged.  not one better than another.

so when you say I love you......think long and hard, for when you suck those words back like a black hole, it leaves an empty space behind not just for her, but for all.

https://youtu.be/BF-nZziUCCY