Beautiful love

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/heart-of-somebody/1202338849?i=1202339292

This new journey is not a easy one. Seems the rules keep changing, the target is always moving. The consistency of falling in love is truly not a finite thing. It can vanish in a moment, and have nothing at all to do with you but with the wounds of another.

An endless game of hide and seek. Of sharing wounds, hopes and vulnerability to begin again with little to no warning. This could jade a gentle soul like mine.

Instead, I make an active choice. A choice to understand, to allow myself the space to question, fight, wAit or just be my loving self and see how the dice land. No need for self doubt or to react in a way that hurts another. 

Do I want that love I’ve been missing? Absolutely! Is it worth the wait? Unequivocally! The ebb and flow of vulnerability and the choice to give myself to another need not be drowned by tears but rather embrace each chance I get to love another human right where they are, no expectations outside of honesty. 

This I claim as part of my ethereal beauty. Sweet Fae heart, do not let this world make you hard or take away your beautiful ability to keep loving, caring and pouring out yourself. Maybe not today but one day it will flow back to you in a wild and beautiful fashion sweeping you away in ways I cannot yet imagine. 

I could let this journey break me. Cause me to hide those beautiful broken places away. Become hard or silent. I choose the way of the lotus, beauty through tribulations. Bringing my special and rare beautiful love to the table each and every day.

What does your journey hold beloveds? Has your vulnerability terrified you? Scared off other  loving souls? That’s ok! Better to love hard than to miss all the amazing opportunities in your path. When that person comes, and chooses me each day this journey, tears and all, will be worth it! For us both. Whoever you are ❤️

 I can’t believe I only  wrote twice last year. It was such a year full of tragedy and resolution and even trappings of joy. My body was broken by someone supposed to love me, my home became a Destiination not meant for me. My mother was taken from me by the brutal hands of it and caring soul. I earned my wings and follow my dream and made family out of friends from everywhere From Alaska to Africa and everywhere in between. I went to speakeasy’s, and rap battles, and kissed in the rain and laid in the middle of the street in downtown Boston. I packed up my precious things and took my little people to a new world full of snow to touch the hearts of adolescents which I never thought I do, you know?!  I had my heart smashed, tricks, owned, and loved. I gave up the dreams I thought I had just to dig them back up. I hiked, swam, slept alone, and didn’t! 

I snuggled like a backpack, held like a lover, had people become ghosts. I tried whiskey ha! Started a new life, a new career, family and friends! I’ve walked all over cities, towns, mountains and explored the beauty around me. I’ve seen ugly become beautiful and everything in between. Breaking hearts and having my heart broken. Picking myself up and handling it! I threw dandelions on my mama’s grave since my Rose was forgotten..... taken too soon and right after Mother’s Day. Braving the world as a warrior princess partnering with my tribe as we all get through. Meeting my ancestores and being given the matriarchial crown during a very intense body talk session. Watching my children grow up little by little and fighting against all that is adulthood and clinging to childhood, such a bittersweet time. Creating and building a home in a building filled with so much history yet the energy here is not sticky but soothing instead. Forehead kisses, lying tongues and forging a future on my own terms. In three days is what was my anniversary.... and I am at a place where I have nothing to mourn. I’m healed physically, strong mentally, and blossoming emotionally as I open my heart to new adventures, possibilities and love. 

Beloveds, my wild ride has hit a beautiful peaceful and quiet place of strength, joy and safety wrapped in quiet surrender of the protection of another’s embrace. May my nights be filled with simple dreams, my nightmares silenced and my wings spread wide to take flight landing on new runways as I explore the world I feared I’d never see. 

https://youtu.be/ZAfAud_M_mg