Somewhere in the middle

Feeling a little bit lost. Divorce is like being thrown off a cliff. Leaving you finding yourself left somewhere in the middle. You don’t belong. You have to learn how to be good with you, be good in your own skin. Even if you’ve never felt that way. You have a Chance to find this new you. But, you also belong to someone and no one all at the same time. You are learning to exist in a world made for two. And searching for your number two is a chaotic and strange endeavor. Again for a moment you “belong” to someone. Some people don’t struggle with this, I am. Being partnered for a over a decade this new world of come and go people or knowing every day you will wake up alone isn’t what I foresaw. Often times the independence post abuse is like flying. Others it is like a silent scream. You truly just have you to count on. Nothing has any promise of longevity or is without dangerous risk when it involves investing your emotions. I don’t think I was, or will ever be, cut out for weekends without my kids, or be cut out for heartache. I don’t want to live in the in between. Guess I better figure this independent thing out.

https://youtu.be/1h3sm5Bgyvs