As all The planets realign and nothing is in retrograde I am left wondering why there are such chaos in my world. This has been a week full of memories. People, recollections, reminiscing and journeying forward. I feel like I blinked and 10 years was over. My happily ever after fell apart. I restarted and restarted again I still feel like 40 years old and cannot reconcile the fact that I am truly the adult in the hierarchy. My kids are no longer small, I’m no longer tied down but I’m like a caged bird that sings. Stuck in the middle filled with What Ifs, content with what is, and wondering why no one comes for me like they claim they will. I no longer settle, I no longer beg , and I found peace in this solitude. I’m thriving not surviving but I wonder if I can ever find peace within another again or if I am intended to travel this journey alone. I find the joy in every day and continue to work to soar. I realize that I have control of my life in my future girl inside of me is still waiting for rocks at her window or that night in shining armor even though I saved myself long ago. So, where are you now? What rings in my head is forever means nothing until a week like this happenew where all those Somedays and forevers find their way back into my mind or on the other end of the line. I backed that up with if I’m too much you can go find less juxtaposed against I hope someone sees the mighty warrior heart beating within me and how far I’ve come and wants to take my hand and join my journey.
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