A guest appearance

https://youtu.be/leDjbm6qmjo


A guest appearance thanks to minimal wifi at my coffee haunt....So, here goes.  I'm wrapping up my first semester of grad school.  It has been full of ups and downs.  Luckily I have made some great friends along the way.

I have had a hell of a week, uvulitis, kids with illness and all on my own.  I meet with a new lady now thanks to someone I will not give the glory of mentioning their name.  Starting at the beginning is hard.  I have learned a lot in the last year.  Sadly, I think I am even less broken than before but stronger and healing in a lot of different ways.  My body is strong and my knuckles cracked as I learn more about self defense.  My skin has new art in places I never imagined, with plans for more I had never considered.  I have met my gift head on and am learning so much about how to ground it, feel it and heal those around me with it.

The last few weeks have been filled with tragic loss, disappointments, and overall a feeling of defeat.  I have a new view on where I was a year ago and why I chose many of the things I have over the last year.  An empty cup is a dangerous thing and a person will bend tremendously to try and fill it.

Not a day goes by that I do not think of the losses suffered.  Although I get more clarity with the decisions of others as I am able to pull back from my own pain somewhat.  I have sealed those persons and losses in my soul and honestly in my skin thanks to my beautiful artist April.

I cannot say I am no longer enraged at the deceit.  That I do not ache for the company of those who find me worthy of their affections.  Now though, I just look at Orion and try and find the reason behind the way the tapestry is coming together instead of letting it eat away what is left of the emptiness within.


I just need to break.  Like I used to.  I cannot even seem to get to that point.  There is so very much to do and so much to accomplish and I am weary.  I need a strong set of shoulders to weep on.  Someone, that feels the ache I do, wears funny socks, and laughs at my jokes.  Says I am pretty no matter what.  Who doesn't expect me to face the world alone or fight every battle alone but rather with someone by my side.

Blessings beloveds. And anonymous?? I'm still here, where are you??