How do you just walk away? Silence forever. Do you live with no regrets with that decision? Or do you wonder where I am?
How do you keep hurting me so callously?! How am I so invisible? Or am I a rarity? Capable of deep searing long lasting love. To the point of it breaking me?
I worry I am alone. That these fears are true. That love is not for me. That I have left little to no impact on those I love dearly. Scraping together the breaths, taking each day at a time. Feeling a fool for letting old wounds sting. For still caring.
I miss my family. Friends that I can just look at and they get me. Feels like a lifetime has passed since I existed.
I will read sonnets, dream and hope. And I will be sitting in that parking spot feb 10: why? I don't know, just to remember what it felt like to say good bye I guess.
Someone find me and all those little shards of me that I'm gathering together as I slowly lose things I love.
Beloveds, I am weary from loss and deeply need hope.
Blessings.
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