Wednesday, January 13, 2016

crashes




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD17tXW7XVQ


Wow, so many words and so many very hard things coming down the pike.  Is that even the saying?? haha. Anyways, I was speaking with someone how grief goes in waves.  Boy is that the truth! I am slowly losing a very important woman to me.  She is my gramma, even if not by blood.  As, i read the texts from my mom regarding her decline my eyes fill with tears.  I want to be there. I want to be with my brothers and Angie.  I have this stupid plane ticket.  It could take me anywhere and I am here.

Since it is pending expiration. I guess I will have to use it.  Do I go to Portland and memorialize its anniversary.  Do I go and comfort the grieving even though they have not asked?

Tis neither here nor there at this point, as I have no ideas as to what to do.

What I do know is that the waves of loss and grief keep washing over me.  Betrayals new and old haunt this hippie soul as I tread forward trying to find out what is real and what has been a fairy tale all this time.

I just wish the waves would stop crashing over and over.  One grief trickles away just for the next wave of pain to break on the beach of my heart; then the old pain takes another turn.

Smile beloveds, as life is fleeting.  Take peace in the moments where the waves don't crash.



1 comment: