Wow, so many words and so many very hard things coming down the pike. Is that even the saying?? haha. Anyways, I was speaking with someone how grief goes in waves. Boy is that the truth! I am slowly losing a very important woman to me. She is my gramma, even if not by blood. As, i read the texts from my mom regarding her decline my eyes fill with tears. I want to be there. I want to be with my brothers and Angie. I have this stupid plane ticket. It could take me anywhere and I am here.
Since it is pending expiration. I guess I will have to use it. Do I go to Portland and memorialize its anniversary. Do I go and comfort the grieving even though they have not asked?
Tis neither here nor there at this point, as I have no ideas as to what to do.
What I do know is that the waves of loss and grief keep washing over me. Betrayals new and old haunt this hippie soul as I tread forward trying to find out what is real and what has been a fairy tale all this time.
I just wish the waves would stop crashing over and over. One grief trickles away just for the next wave of pain to break on the beach of my heart; then the old pain takes another turn.
Smile beloveds, as life is fleeting. Take peace in the moments where the waves don't crash.
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