Relish the joy...

When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, "What was it that you wanted and why didn't you fight for it?

Shannon L. Alder

Yesterday I wrote about "giving up the fight." Such a breath of freedom

Came from that post. Ironically I stumbled across this quote today:). 

Still, I feel peace. You see, I think it is time that someone fights FOR me. For my respect, love, friendship. I've spent years apologizing and fighting to keep the peace, to keep the homeostasis, to keep love. Some of these battles were worth it! Some were not. 

I have even battled for my health. Years of fighting kidney troubles and a weak immune system has oft left me feeling older than I am. I've been spending a lot of time getting healthy. Essential oils and new supplements have helped me in this fight. Being alone in a hospital bed is my least favorite place to be. It is lonely and frightening. 

What I realize is i fight for me, I fight for others and I fight to live and live happily. 

I am blessed to have a few close friends, and a family that never give up on me, or let me give up on me. 

Now, I wait. Will all this fighting pay off or leave me lonely? Will I finally maintain health and strength and will I find that value those close few see in me? I have faith I will. It will come.

Until then I will relish the fun. Yesterday Laine painted herself in pink lipstick haha! The laughter brings the joy! Relish the joy!