Tuesday, May 12, 2015

No!!!

http://youtu.be/wwCykGDEp7M

I can't share the pain and fear coursing through me. I received news of the house closing. Yay full price. 

I also received news of two people I love more than words getting very scary medical results needing further tests. The forbidden C word. I can't think, I can't breathe I can't logic my way around the fear. 

I CANNOT lose them. I've lost so much... Life without them would be hollow. I've let them down, disappointed them, made them proud, and they've loved me at my least lovable. I can't tell them how sorry I am for all the times I fell short and how every breath is a prayer that prognosis is totally different once the new results are in. 

I feel like my bones are breaking inside me. Tears, wine, a hard run won't take the pain. 

Beloveds, where are you??? Send me your+1's your love you mr strengths .  I need them:




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